On the evening of Friday 24 May, I live tweeted from my viewing of Star Trek Into Darkness. I expected this movie to be pretty bad, and it delivered. Here were my impressions as I watched it; more coherent thoughts coming soon.
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Woo! LIVE TWEET of Star Trek Into Darkness starting soon! Watch the #idlive hashtag
seconds in and we've just shot something! Yay! #idlive
"As you know... the Prime Directive..." #idlive
So, why is the Enterprise underwater? #idlive
Lolz, Scotty got frightened by a fish! #idlive
Meanwhile... at bad art project... #idlive
#idlive pic.twitter.com/P3p2n0eel4
Is this more Gattaca or more Starship Troopers or more Hugo Boss Nazi? #idlive
Cold fusion... I do not think it means what you think it means #idlive
Meanwhile, in Bladerunner #idlive
Injecting children with the blood of strangers; seems legit #idlive
Didn't they do this same bar scene last time? #idlive
This is pretty slow for an action film... #idlive
And now it's Dr Strangelove! :D #idlive
We're going to run this bastard down! Really? Star Trek? #idlive
So you can beam straight to Qonos now... #idlive
So why have starships? #idlive
I did like the little model spaceships #idlive
I despise the look of the new Enterprise #idlive
The scene with Kirk and Spock in the shuttle was actually good though #idlive
I don't really understand the torpedo thing #idlive
Also, this is slow for an action movie. #idlive
And now this is Star Trek: Greys Anatomy :(( #idlive
Enterprise leaves spacedock without a single shred of the majesty that this scene used to have :( #idlive
Let's get this son of a bitch :( #idlive
Why did something just blow up? #idlive
Kronos? Really? #idlive
And we're back in Grey's Anatomy territory again #idlive
Do you think the makers of this film ever saw Return of the Jedi? #idlive
Also Uhura is so disappointingly wet :( I'll have to look up that line later :( #idlive
[I looked it up later. The line was: ‘They’re going to torture us, question us, and they’re going to kill us. Which I think worked better in Firefly as: ‘They’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And, if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.’]
The Klingon's head looks like smoked salmon now. :( #idlive
Klingons are now just generic goons :( #idlive
Nothing in that fight made sense #idlive
Artichoke man is the Jar Jar of this franchise #idlive
Really? Gratuitous underwear shot? what is that even? #idlive
Bones is made out of torpedos? #idlive
Khan is a lot whiter now. #idlive
and he is eeenunseeaaating veery cair ful leeeee #idlive
WTF???? Stuffing your people inside weapons doesn't seem like genius :( #idlive
punch it? They *have* seen Return of the Jedi*!!! #idlive
The women in this are so awful :(( #idlive
Khan sits like a meerkat #idlive
[No, I’m reliably informed he resembles an otter]
"The tribble's dead" is maybe memeworthy #idlive
This is very slow for an action movie #idlive
Tron helmets #idlive
He's turned off his targeting computer #idlive
That ship is under some serious air pressure! #idlive
Old Spock says: I won't tell you anything. Except what I'm about to tell you. #idlive
Enterprise bridge = Apple Store; Dreadnaught bridge = Death Star control room #idlive
The aft nacelle? Where is that? #idlive
Now we see why that pointless atrium was there - for people to fall into! Checkov's gun I guess #idlive
It's like that barrel of monkeys game #idlive
Reactor repair 101 -- kick it a lot #idlive
Seriously? They're lifting lines word-for-word in this? #idlive
This is very slow for an action movie #idlive
Khaaaan.... FFS #idlive
Star Trek is all about foot chases. #idlive
That tribble looks a lot like a potato. #idlive
Why has nobody called Starfleet? Or even the police? #idlive
They could beam Uhura down, why couldn't they beam Khan up again??? #idlive
Why not use Khan's blood to bring everyone else back too? #idlive
Well, that's strangely suddenly over... #idlive
Well, that's about what I expected. Fucking awful. #idlive
Thanks for playing everybody! I'll sum all this up in a blog entry later! :D #idlive
If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy this response to the 2009 film.
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